Sex... as Told From a Make Believe Woman's Perspective

Sex. When you’re little, your parents tell you it’s when a man loves a woman… and then awkwardness. As you get older, the reality of the situation sets in. Puberty hits and the hormones go wild. Unfortunately, it’s about the same time that zits become a problem for most of us so that keeps you in check. Then, we grow older and things cool off. Sex once again becomes the thing on most guys’ minds and what America keeps trying to sell us. What they complete ignore are the effects that this sex craze has on the female population. Sure, for most guys it’s all about bikinis and blowjobs, but for women, the act is supposed to be something more emotional.
This brings me to my point about just what sex is. Sure, it should be an act between two consenting adults, and ideally they wait until they’re married, but like I said, that’s not the reality of the situation? The fact of the matter? Girls want sex just as badly as men do. Now I’m not talking about the intimacy it creates or the eventual byproduct of sex, I’m talking about the physicality of the act. It’s impossible to explain why I have no issue about sex without commitment without going into a little history about what it means to be a girl/woman/female in this world.
We’re the polite ones. We’re supposed to play with dolls and have tea parties at a young age. Then as we get older, we’re supposed to want to find a man who will then marry us and give us a baby. Well, I’m sure there are some women out there who want that, but I can only speak for myself. What’s wrong with just wanting a man? Not to propose to me or have a baby with me, but just physically wanting a man? Well, believe it or not, I’m pretty much not allowed to. American society’s been teaching that for years. You can date it all the way back to the Puritans who didn’t believe women could or even should enjoy sex. There are plenty of examples in books, music, and movies that support this claim. Just look at The Scarlet Letter, which features a woman who has sex out of wedlock and is punished for it whereas the man escapes unpunished by society. Sure, they pretty much frown on sex as a whole, but the woman’s sexuality is inherently tied to shame and punishment.
It’s the 21st century now and sadly, very little as changed. The standards that women are held to continue to outweigh those that confront men. Even in slang terms, women are far more often demeaned for doing the exact same thing that men do. Here’s an example you may have heard; a guy sleeps with a couple of different girls at his school. What do his friends call him? He’s a “player”. He’s congratulated for his practice of sex without commitment. A girl has sex with a couple of guys from her school. What do people, a lot of other women included, call her? She’s a “slut”. She is shamed by her practice of sex without commitment. Not many people are willing to talk about what a ridiculous double standard that is, but there are some pop culture outlets that talk about this ridiculous practice. This is one of the things that “Sex and the City” states in its first episode. The standards that women are held to, work-related or sex-related, are entirely different. They’re completely unfair to women.
That being said, I’m not a frequent practitioner of sex without commitment. It’s just not for me. That’s not to say that I see anything wrong with it. If two consenting adults want to have sex without commitment, I have no issue with that. Sure, I think both parties should take responsibility for their choice to do so. But that is honestly between the consenting partners. Society’s mores have no place in the bedroom. I mean, if most God-fearing Americans had their way, sex for any other purpose besides a baby would be outlawed. Then again, America has a tendency to make its fear-based prejudices into laws. Just look at the ban on same-sex marriage. What practical purpose does either of these judgments serve? The answer is none.
The truth of the matter is, in a weird way, I respect the women that can do it. This isn’t to dismiss the fear of unwanted pregnancy or STDs, those are all valid concerns, but there’s something strongly feminist about a woman proudly enjoying casual sex with no shame attached. While society would have us call them sluts and shun them, there’s a certain art in being able to command their own body and so freely enjoy the pure physicality of casual sex.
I know it may seem weird to most people to take something as “irresponsible” as casual sex and manage to make it a political statement, but that’s just my view of the matter. No matter how we look at it, casual sex will remain a part of our culture. There’s no amount of shame or fear that can undo what the sexual revolution of the 1960s has done. That being said, I think we should encourage an element of responsibility i.e. safe sex practices, STD testing, when discussing casual sex, but remove the stigma that sex has associated with the female identity in our society.